A moment of relief, then back to work.

I’ve turned in my materials for the March meeting with my Thesis Advisory Panel. Usually I feel terror. This time I just felt relief.

I filled out the form indicating everything I’ve done since the last meeting. Because of my illness, everything I’ve done since the last meeting really means ‘everything I’ve done since January.’ Listing all of the inputs, the conferences and papers and literature reviews and calls for papers and survey creation and data analysis and outreach and website and thing after thing after thing, I realized, this is why I feel so tired all of the time. I have done SO MUCH since January.

It’s crept in, this exhaustion, because day by day, I’ve just been doing what I have to do.